


Nightmare

by Stixx



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bigger Than Jesus Controversy, I cried writing this, M/M, Nightmares, Violence, kinda gory but not really, lots of feels grab a tissue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 00:50:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21290990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stixx/pseuds/Stixx
Summary: Once the Bigger than Jesus controversy started John Lennon was wrecked. He refused to apologize. He did no wrong and didn't think he deserved all of this unnecessary hate. But after a long chat with Brian, and a horrifying nightmare, John may change his ways.
Relationships: John Lennon/Paul McCartney
Comments: 3
Kudos: 50





	Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Press](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11921706) by [Celebratory Penguin (cpenguing)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cpenguing/pseuds/Celebratory%20Penguin). 

> ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> seriously this is dark. Please don't read this if you're sensitive to blood, violence, or depressing and drawn out death scenes.
> 
> This is fan FICTION for a reason. I'm 9000000000% percent sure some of the events in this didn't actually happen but I tried to keep the story within the realm of possibility.

Brian sighed. He hated talking to John when he was like this. To see the hurt, the despair, the anger flash in his eyes all at once made his heart ache. He could feel John's emotions as if they were his very own. But he needed John to apologize to the public. He needed John to say he was sorry before something drastic happened. "Lennon please. I need you to go up there for us. I-"

"Brian how many times to I need to bloody tell you? I can't! I can't go up there in front of an entire crowd of people who are just going to fuckin' twist me words around every time I fuckin say something! I'm tired of seein' our records being burnt, I'm tired of the questions, the accusations, the everything!" He shouted, causing Brian to jump back a little in his chair.

John was biting back tears at this point. He couldn't let Brian watch him go into hysterics. But at the same time all he wanted was a hug. He just wanted a hug from anyone. It didn't matter. It could be from Brian, Paul, some random hobo on the street, he didn't care. He just wanted someone to hold him. He folded his arms and started to rub the callouses on his elbows to try and calm down but it was no use. Big, wet, salty tears started to roll down his cheeks.

Brian looked over at the poor man with sadness clouding in his eyes. He walked over and sat on John Lennon's bed alongside him, putting a hand on his back. "John, I understand how you feel. it isn't easy to be hated by a bunch of people. But there's a lot at stake here. America isn't like Britain. The people over there have a lot of guns. If you don't apologize, people might start to take things into their own hands, if you get what I mean."

John felt more tears leave his face, but there was still some fight in him. "Well then let them. It's me their shooting at right?"

Brian's breath hitched. He couldn't believe what John was saying. He didn't want to think of the four people closest to him being shot at and possibly killed. "Lennon, there is also a possibility they could miss. They could also be after more than just, you." Brian said, his voice trembling.

John felt his blood run cold at that very statement. He felt his entire body tense, like he was watching a gruesome horror movie. Horrible, violent images shot through his head that he wished he would forget. He did his best to not breakdown right in front of his manager.

"John why don't you get some rest. Sleep on it, think it through. I'm sure by tomorrow morning you'll be able to come to a decision. I understand that you didn't mean to offend anyone, and I'm not mad at you. Just, please think about the people closest to you." Brian said as he gathered his things, and walked out the door.

As soon as Brian left John broke down into tears. The pain in his chest from the heartache he felt was agonizing. It was like someone was clawing at his chest, leaving obvious, painful claw marks on his soft, sensitive chest. He collapsed onto the bed sheet and gripped onto the sheets for dear life as he screamed in agonizing emotional pain. He was surprised that no one heard him.

Once John began to calm down, he felt his eyelids grow heavier with each passing minute. Although his breathing was still panicked and very uneasy, he was tired. Perhaps Brian was right. Maybe he should sleep it off. John fell out of bed, put on some pajamas, and climbed into his bed, seeking comfort in his snow white sheets.

*****

_John was onstage, singing along the lyrics to a song he couldn't name. His brow was sweaty and his face was hot. Why was he here? Didn't they cancel the tour after the incident? He looked over at his surroundings to see his three band mates, singing, bouncing, and overall having a good time._

_George and Paul were sharing a microphone, singing lyrics to some song that he couldn't understand. It was like they were singing complete gibberish. George was strumming his guitar, tapping his foot and singing along calmly, while Paul was going wild on that microphone. He was bouncing all around the stage, humping his bass, and slapping it as he played, having a grand ol' time. His rosy cheeks were more red than usual, and swear dripped down his forehead. He looked over at John and winked at him, causing shivers to run down the older man's spine._

_He then looked over at Ringo, who was on his usual pedestal. He was banging on his drums excitedly, like a child playing with pots and pans. He had an expression of pure joy spread across his entire face. That was the thing with Ringo. When he was happy, everyone was happy. That was why he was always, "Their little Richie." Although he was older than the rest of them all, he was just so adorable. John could feel all of his worries just, drip off his shoulders like water off of a ducks back. Maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be alright._

_Then there was a gunshot._

_John watched in horror as Ringo fell off of that pedestal with a thud. His eyes widened in terror as he heard Ringo's small body land on the ground. He turned to face his members and saw Paul standing there frozen, and George running. Towards John. John was so shocked that he couldn't hear the terrifying, bloodcurdling screams of the people in the audience. It was like all sound turned to static. He could only hear the screams of his fellow band mates._

_Then he saw George fall to the ground as well. He landed on the ground with a permanent, terrified expression on his face. John stared as he watched one of his best friends, one of his_ brothers _bleed out onto the floor around him._

_Everything flashed through John's mind. All of the wonderful memories he had with the younger lad replayed in his head like a movie. He remembered meeting the boy, he remembered celebrating their first hit album with him, he remembered everything. And here lay that very same man on the ground, in a pool of crimson red blood._

_That was when John sprung into action. There were only two other Beatles left that hadn't gotten shot. Him, and Paul. He could not let Paul die. He would rather die a slow, agonizing death rather than watch the very man he loved with all of his heart go through it. He ran over to the frozen, crying, screaming Paul as fast as he could. But it was no use. He watched in slow motion as he watched Paul's body fall to the floor, with a horrifying, thud.  
_

_When John reached Paul he fell to his knees, crying his eyes out as he held his lover in his arms. He watched as Paul clutched his abdomen, shrieking in agonizing pain. He held him close and tried to whisper words of comfort to his lover, but they were drowned out by Paul's screams. _

_John held Paul's warm, shaking, damaged body against his, not caring if he was exposed like a deer in headlights. All he could think about was his brothers and his lover, lying on the ground, suffering a slow, painful, agonizing death, because he didn't apologize over a stupid quote. John felt his world shatter around him, and it was all his fault. He then heard Paul, in a small, weak voice, say, "John, it h-hurts."_

_John kissed Paul's sweaty forehead with tears streaming down his face. "I know darling. I know, it will all be over soon, I promise."_

_Paul hissed as he felt pain shoot through every inch of his body. He let out another scream of excruciating pain. John just shushed him, and stroked his raven black hair. "it's going to be alright darling. I promise you're going to be okay." John said as his voice trembled and shook._

_John then felt his heart stop. He felt the man go limp in his arms. All of the life that was once in Paul's eyes seemed to have disappeared. They were now glassed over and barren of all life. "No....no Paulie come on. Paulie you're okay! You're okay!" John screamed, shaking the boy violently. "Come on stop this it isn't funny! Stop it!"_

_John just held Paul's lifeless body as he cried. He cried and he cried and he cried. He was sobbing against Paul, hoping that he would wake up, but deep down he knew that Paul was gone._

_*********_

John jolted awake screaming. Tears were falling from his eyes as he let out the most bloodcurdling screams anyone has every heard. He held onto his head, trying to understand what the fuck was happening. All he could remember was the screaming, the crying, the gunshots.......

And, Paul.....

Oh god not Paul......

He gripped his hair as he bit his lip so hard he drew blood. Tears were now pouring from his tightly shut eyes. He didn't even hear his hotel room door opening.

"John! Oh my god are you alright?!" Paul asked, quickly slamming the door shut as he ran over to the sobbing man.

John practically threw himself at Paul. He gripped at Paul's clothes as he absolutely lost it. It was like he was a scared child, holding onto his Mummy after a bad dream. Paul just held onto John, allowing him to cry as he stroked his head and whispered comforting words into his ear.

"It's all m-my fucking f-fault." John sobbed into Paul's shirt. "All of this is my b-bloody fault!"

Paul sighed and kissed John's forehead in an effort to calm him down. "John it isn't your fault. They were the ones who twisted your words around." He said calmly as he pet John's auburn hair.

John held onto Paul's night shirt even tighter. He was afraid he might tear it. "I'm s-so sorry Paulie...I'm sorry!" He wailed.

"I know you are John. I know." Paul cooed, his voice as calm and quiet as a mouse. He could feel John's tears soaking through his shirt as he held him but he didn't care. John was sitting here, sobbing and trembling, over those stupid Americans and he was going to help him out.

"Th-they were shootin' at us P-Paul."

That grabbed Paul's attention. "John what are you talking about? No one's ever shot at us."

John sniffled as more tears flowed down his cheeks. "in m-my dream someone was shootin at us and Richie got hit and Geo d-died and you were sc-screamin in pain as I h-held you and-and-and....." John couldn't even finish his sentence he was so shaken. But Paul could get a guess at what John's dream was about. He felt his heart shatter as he watched his lover, the incredible John Lennon, have a mental breakdown on top of him.

"Oh darling." Paul said, rubbing John's back in small circles. "I'm so sorry that happened."

"Pl-please tell me that never happened......please tell me Richie is ok-okay. Y-you're not dead right?" John looked up at Paul and what Paul saw was heartbreaking. John's beautiful brown eyes were red and puffy, with tears overflowing out from his eyes and down his cheeks. Snot was dripping from his nose which he was often insecure about, and an expression of pure terror was spread across his face.

Paul did his best not to cry, grabbed a tissue, and wiped the tears and snot away. "Of course not darling. I'm right here. Richie is fine. He's asleep in his room. So is George." He said as he embraced his husband. "I promise you none of that ever happened, and you don't need to worry about it."

John sniffled as he allowed Paul to cuddle him on the bed. He held onto Paul for dear life as he calmed down. Once he was calm, he finally decided he was going to apologize to the public.

"Paul."

"Yes Johnny?"

"I want to apologize."

Paul was a little surprised. He thought John was going to be more stubborn about this whole ordeal. "Really? Are you sure you can handle it?"

John nodded. "I'm not a child. I can do it."

smiled to himself as he allowed John to fall asleep next to him. "I'm proud of you Johnny."

After that, they both got a restful, undisturbed sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> To everyone who read this, I am sorry if I made you cry.


End file.
